Saying goodbye to Buff was one of the hardest things I've had to do in life. I loved that little dog with my whole heart. I had lost my mom just two years before, and that too, was my greatest loss.
I was very torn about getting another dog. No dog could take Buff's place or even fill that hole. I had never picked my own dog. Every dog in my life had just come to me.After two years of missing Buff, I went on a spring vacation to Calistoga CA. As I was browsing through the very fun stores of that town I ran across a book. It was just all pictures of puppies and dogs, as I thumbed through it I was giggly about how cute and adorable these dogs were, I throughly enjoying myself!
But then, I turned the page and there he was! This was a bit of a weird experience for me. As I looked down at this dog on the page tears filled my eyes, my heart started to beat fast and I wanted to just scream out with joy, I just knew that was my dog! The dog I had drawn over and over throughout my childhood, the dog that had lived in my heart for all these years. The dog I had dreamed about.
I was having one of those moments, where you have no idea why you are having a certain reaction but you know you need a moment alone to take it all in. I was in a store though, with other people, and here I was just looking at puppy book and doing all I could to hold back sobs of joy and not be noticed by anyone.
I was hoping my close friend that was with me wouldn't notice cause I knew I couldn't explain all that was going on inside me. I knew I needed that book though, I needed that picture! I had no idea what kind of dog this was, the book didn't list a single breed. I pulled myself together enough to make my way up to pay for it. I took that book home and looked at that picture of that dog over and over and kept having the same teary, heart racing reaction each time I would look at him.
Finally, I cut the picture out of the book and put it in a frame and put it in my living room area. People would come over and say whose dog is this? I'd tell them "that's my dog!" "I didn't know you had a dog!" I'd hear that over and over from friends. "He's not here yet." "Oh did you order him or something? What kind is he?" I would begin to explain to them that I didn't know what breed of dog he was but I did know he was my dog! And,that I'd find him someday or he would come to me.
I know people probably think I'm goofy. But my friends have come to expect it from me. And, I always encourage others to dream and believe in big crazy dreams. I still keep it in a frame by my entry way cause I love it, it represents so much to me. Cause wait till you hear what happened! :)
Okay, so I'll post that picture I found that day. Here he is! :)
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